I'll Just Be
by crook-spanks
Summary: Rose/Scorpius. Rose is under the weather and has no one to talk to. Enter Scorpius.


I used to be a normal teenage girl, craving the attention and popularity that other girls at my school got but all the while content with what I had. I used to be blissfully unaware that I was happy, that I didn't need boyfriends and drama to create excitement in my life. I had everything that I needed and wanted. I was fourteen then and hadn't discovered my brilliant demise that was alcohol and boys.

Being a teenager and remaining happy up until your 21st birthday is hard. Near impossible, one might say. There is always going to be a time in your teenage years where you just don't see the point of trying anymore, where all your efforts at following the trends and doing what everyone wants you to do seem completely pointless.

When mum started travelling the first time, I didn't expect it to have such a toll on my life or me. I usually enjoyed her absence, taking advantage of Dads obliviousness. But when she did leave, something inside of me kind of died. I'm not really sure what part of my stopped living, but it did. It didn't want to exist in this world I detested so much anymore, it didn't want to be apart of my devastation, so it took the easy way out and just shriveled up.

My body couldn't handle that. I was fifteen years old, the age where you discover drugs and sex and boys. My mind disagreed with my body and my insides began to get all twisted. I felt nauseas when I saw great clusters of humans and I wanted to throw up at the thought of leaving the safety of my house. I got it into my head that I was sick. I needed a doctor and medicine and some good ol' TLC. Dad was less than sympathetic. He called me lazy and said that this was all for show and attention. He was right, really. I wanted to people to look at me and realise that I was unhappy. I wanted hugs and ice cream. Lily, one of my best friends, was away when this all began to happen. When I spoke to her I couldn't work up the courage to actually tell her what was happening, so she didn't understand. Albus, my cousin and confidante, was too caught up in his studies.

I had fucked up any chance of a friendship with Harvey Wood four months ago when I drunkenly told him I love him. I'd practically offered myself to him and, thank God, he had politely declined. I was so upset I went and vomited in a box and didn't speak to him for three weeks. But it's difficult avoiding your ex-best friend when you go to the same school and have every single class but one together. We were acquaintances now. We smiled but rarely spoke. So Harvey was out of the question.

The only person that I could think of to ask for advice was my cousin's best friend. Scorpius Malfoy.

Enter the charming teenager man, the witty companion, and the faithful sidekick. We'd always got along rather well - and still do, if not better than before - but I wasn't sure of the boundaries of our relationship. Could I talk to him about my difficulties in life? Or would he laugh? Anyway, I told myself, it's worth a shot.

It was the Christmas holidays and my family was out when I invited him over under the pretense that he had to get Albus the hell away form his studies and take him out. Albus was still at lunch with his girlfriend when he arrived, just like I'd planned. My eyes were red and had big, black bags under them and my nose dripped. Scorpius wrapped me up in a blanket quick as a flash and planted me on the couch, the tea brewing nearby.

"Rosie," he said, "what's up?"

"I'm unhappy." I told him. He nodded.

"I know. Merlin, we all know. Do you wanna, um, talk?" He asked, somewhat hesitantly. This was what I had wanted for the past month. To talk. I almost nodded. My eyes began to skin with unshed tears. I smiled sadly at him and shook my head 'no'. The salty tears spilled out of my burning eyes. Scorpius pouted and put his arm around me, pulling me into a hug. He simply sat there while I wept onto his shoulder.

I didn't stop crying for the next two days, I remember. Scorpius came over again - this time it really was to get Albus out of the house and he was home. Albus himself had made sure of that, not happy with the way he had found his cousin bawling into his friends shoulder the last time he'd stayed at out. Scorpius came into my room and sat down on my bed. My eyes were still crying but I had learnt to ignore it. Albus called for him and Scorpius shouted that he was coming.

"Please don't cry again. You look beautiful when you cry, but it breaks my heart to realise that I can't do anything to help you." He whispered. He leant over and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. Then he left. The next morning he acted as if nothing had happen but wouldn't quit staring at me.

I knew Scorpius Malfoy was different then. He wasn't the funny boy who laughed unashamedly at boob jokes and who ate noodles with a spoon. He was the first person, save my parents, to call me beautiful.

I was more pleasant after that. I wasn't fixed, not by a long shot, but I was getting there. And I had made a decision. If I couldn't _live_, then at least I would simply _be_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **Okay so I originally wrote this as my own piece of work for no one in particular. I'm attempting at writing a novel (lets see if that happens, hey?) and this is kind of the first chapter of it but I wondered if it suited a Rose/Scorpius situation so thats what I did.

Please please tell me what you think!

missgeorgeweasley

_EDIT 23/5/11 - I realised how many mistakes there were in this! I'm so sorry, gosh it was awful how many there were. Enjoy kittens _


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